confusion

September 20 2006

its been awhile, a longgggg while

well here i am
on a break/broken up from my boyfriend.
im at school now, college in boston...
no more new haven, no more of my own room own house own family own car
now i share everything all the time even my food and time asleep
i dont really like that
i miss having my very own

even though all summer i had a type of roomate as well, but i guess it was "ours" not mine and his...rather than with a roomate its hers and mine,.


but yea, as i heard today in my meeting that made me thing
"ppl get homesick and they call home and their boyfriends everyday, but that doesnt solve it long term, they need to get roots here, and feel like they belong"

and thats very very true for me right now, last year i didnt have roots

anyway so this song:

Chasing Cars
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

is very important
and i get the feeling of sitting on a beach at sunset on a cold beach alone and staring at the navy waves

and my thoughts are half swimming in the water the other half falling like fireworks through the sunset


anyway tho
i wish i had time to waste
i wish i could be in 2 places at once
i wish i could

put life on PAUSE (so i can catch up on work, school, being here etc, REWIND(to the summer) or Fast Forward (so I kno whats gona happen and where ill be and everyone else)