time being wasted

Here I am
Alone again
Eating old food
Wishing it tasted good
Trying to catch up
On the endlessly growing stack of papers
Wishing I could forget it all
And crawl into bed

I miss summer when it was just me and love and nothing else
All of me was synchronized
Body heart and mind.
I spent boring hours in an office
But enjoyed the company of people
And the freedom of a car

There was nothing over my head
And I wished it could last forever

But here I am
Eating old food
Wishing it tasted good
Like his kisses everynight
Before cuddling close and
Dreaming together

Waking up in his arms
Eager for a morning hug
Tolerating the boring job
Planning excitement and
Enjoyement
Endless entertainment
That’s all it was

And here I am
Alone again.

Lost in memories
Pretending I can hit Pause on time
While I reminisce

Struggling to live here now
To confront what life has for me now

Wondering why the hours went so slow and now
They’re racing minutes
to see who can keep me
Lost
For longer.


thanks to eri-good song
the perishers-my heart

trying and failing to be productive
its like i forgot how to read and learn anything
and suddnly its dinner time when i just had breakfast and only 1/2 a chapter's been completed

wes says to drop out and join the circus
maybe thats a good idea

who says u have to go to college now when ure young
thats the only time u can do anything else with ure life
once u graduate u gota get a job n start ure life etc

whats the rush

but no im on a conveyor belt
and i know its logical and practical and efficent and all that

but i miss