merry christmas!

mm christmas 2005
good time
opened presents with uncle & fam
got sparkly jewelry n some $ for traveling
phone with kenny for awhile
n talked to melissa
then the goldmans came over
real awkwawrd b4 dinner time
then fine meal, good food
im sooo sleepy tho
i don even kno why
josh was gona come over but im honestly about to pass out n its not even 11
well i got a busy week ahead so its good to sleep early
talked to chi online, hes so nice
n religionboy hes hilarious, kinda odd, lol

anddd right-o
bedtime
zzzz

merry xmas eve day

ok so showing my uncle itunes and aim and other random electronic phenomenons made me happier, lol so much of what we know we take for granted
and ppl from another generation are fascinated
i wonder what we will be fascinated by
someteims it feels like we're at the brink of new and we've been crossing like the technological bridge soo fast that we're gona get to the other side and not know what to do with ourselves
like, our ipods will be the size of our fingernails, and computers will fold into our pockets, cell phones will be like, part of our ears, haha thatll be wierd

but all these same social problems will exist just the same
unfortunate

anyway im gona go have another mozz/tomato/pesto sandwhich bc thats all I eat at home ever, then chips&salsa is more of my school food
i wonder if im enemic...
well

im going to kit luckeys pageant tonight, her dad is paralyzed from the neck down. theres tragedy. theyre an amazing family and theyve been through so much.

well not to end on a traumatic note so

im gona go eat some sugar cookies, we decorated them yesterday, very intense and delicious

random moody bored

this pic is probably the mood im in whenever im writing in here, i dono, its my thoughtful, pensive expression of myself.

ill probably mostly write in here when im upset about something
maybe i wont,
i mean when i get really excited and am bursting at the seams i might leave an update then too
hopefully there'll be more of the latter

but also ill just write like what i do everyday so my friends can kno if they so choose or are procrastinating

as of now-its christmas eve day
one of the most boring days bc everythings closed and its not quite christmas
besdies mad carols and some lights i havent actualy gotton into the xmas sentiment very much, i feel like ive lost the ability to do that since ive gotton older
shame so many ppl lose their imaginations so young

ok well im gona get in a better mood hopefully

baby avery was visiting today, with susan, theyre fun. i think ive like struggled at relating to adults so much since my adolescence set in, liek susan used to be my favorite adult, but now i dont really like any adult, unless they act just like a kid.
im really just a big kid like, im giggly and goofy and liek to get fkd up and make out and do whatever seems fun...
and tehn my conscious sets in and its all like, the world is unfair you should do what you can to change it, but my youthful idealism gets shut down so often, like esp by the guys i chill with a lot i dono i mean, i guess they just hwave their own problems that r much more real and personal so they dont have teh luxury of worrying abotu other ppl.

well, mariah careys last hits we belong togetheer and dontforget about us are whats going thru my head.
and i keep thinking about the notebook
and im sorta gona read memoirs of a giesha, but i keep finding myself glued to my computer, ipod and cellphone
i need to go for a hike alone or something
im so against being alone recently, even when i sleep, ive only been alone like 2 nites i think all break
see brokeback mountain. its real.
and go to cuteoverload.com
its really cute.